Top 10 Worst Ride Hosts

[Andymeets1880s]

Junior might not remember these, but SDC made some bad hires through the years. They selected certain people to run the rides and....well.....they just didnt work out. And some they really regretted! Here are the Top 10 Worst Ride Hosts

10. Ty Pennington (with bullhorn) - "C'MON PEOPLE, YOU GOT JUST A FEW MINUTES LEFT TO ENTER THIS RIDE! C'MON, PEEEEEEOPLE! JUST A FEW MORE SECONDS BEFORE WE HAVE TO GET THIS THING GOING, LET'S GO! LET'S GO! PEOPLLLLLLLLLEEE!"

9. Garrett Morris - *cupping hands around mouth* "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE KEEP YOUR ARMS AND LEGS IN THE CAR AT ALL TIMES! GOODBYE AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW!"

8. Bubba from "Forrest Gump" - Um, you can keep your arms in, legs in, feet in, fingers in, head in, nose in, knees in, toes in, elbows in, (pause........wait for it.......wait for it......) and that's about all you can keep in."

7. Minnie Pearl - EVERY single round of passengers "HOOOOOWWWDDDYYYYYYY!"

6. R. Lee Ermey, drill sargeant from "Full Metal Jacket" - "TELL ME, YOU &*%$#, JUST WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN RIDE THIS RIDE?! YOU'RE *%#*, YOU'RE !&*$%#, YOU DONT HAVE THE &*$%#! TO RIDE THIS RIDE!"

5. Boxing announcer, Michael Buffer - "For the thousands in the park and the many people waiting in line, ladies and gentlemen..........LET'S GET READY TO RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!"

4. The famous soccer broadcaster - "Welcome everyone to Fire in the HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!"

3. Mel Tillis - "Uhh...everybo....every.....just keep your arms....and uh.......keep your arms and.....keep your arms and legs in until....until...until....the ride, uh.....until the ride......until the ride stops." (No, I am not making fun of a man who stutters. God knows he has lampooned himself in movies and tv.)

2. Dennis Miller - Ok, everyone. I dont want to get on a rant here, but you need to get on and keep your arms and legs in at all times cause it's the just the same as President Obama, Napoleon and Nikita Kruschev when the right wing... (and right about here is when he goes into a long rant that only Harvard graduates can understand!)

And the number one worst ride host at SDC (I bet several of you will love this one..........)

Bill Lumberg from "Office Space" - "M'kay. Did you all get the memo on this ride? M'kay I'm gonna need you to keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times and if you would that'd be greeeeeaaaaat. M'kay? Greeeeaaaaaat."

[History Buff]

'Looks like you worked had on this one.  Here are some more:

• You wanna ride, punk.  We'll go ahead, make my day...by buckling the seat belt and staying seated.
• Ride?  Ride?  YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE RIDE!
• The tribe has spoken...You must leave the ride immediately.

And some for a totally different list: World's Worst SDC Commercials

• You've already ridden, uh...fiverides, and my good friend, uh, has ridden, uh, only one.  In my administration, I am proposing that your, uh...fun be temporarily suspended...while my friend...catchesup.  I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message.
• Read my lips:  No. New. Thrills.  for 2011.

[Junior]

One noted actress who DID work at SDC in the street troupe and, before that, at Dogpatch...TESS HARPER! If the name is not familiar to you, Google her, and you'll see she's had a nice career.

[How-doFolks]

Ozzy Osbourne as a cave tour guide!! HIDE THE BATS!!!!

[sanddunerider]

"""""  I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message."""""

 

now history buff..  you know this is a FAMILY site..  

Why would you go and start swearing like that..?? 

Please try to refrain from that happening again.

[History Buff]

Didn't you notice?  I balanced that Democrat dig with the next one from a Republican.

[Andymeets1880s]

Another was "The Price is Right" announcer, Johnny Oleson. He REALLY slowed the rides up when he would ask EACH and every person their name and then announce "Joey Smith, C'mon down! You're the next rider on Flooded Mine!"

Then there was the Godfather of Soul, James Brown - "Hiiiiiiiii, Uh!....Say, keep your arms in, UH! Say, Hiiiiiiiiii, uh, keepin' your arms and Huh! legs in at, gotta keep em' in now! Hiiiiiiiiiiiii"

[Joy]

Junior: Tess Harper is amazing! I loved her in the Christy TV series!

[History Buff]

JFK:  "Ask not what the ride will do for you; ask what you, while keeping your hands on the safety bar, will do for the ride."

FDR:  "You have nothing to fear but fear itself, but the chicken exit is to the right."

[sanddunerider]

pretty good , history buff!

[History Buff]

Oprah

No funny quote, I'm just sayin'...

[rubedugans]

Oprah would be great in the candy shop
"You get a sample...AND YOU get a sample...EVERYONE IS GETTING SAMPLES of our homemade peanut brittle."

[marolinesdad]

^ Oprah would give everyone their own Candy Shop...

[Andymeets1880s]

^^^^ 


SDC opens a "Green Acres" restaurant where a "Lisa" cooks the food (and it's horrible), there are "Oliver Douglas" hosts all wearing suits with vests (minus sportcoat), the waiters are all "Mr. Kimbles" (Can I get you some tea? No, wait...I just got you a tea. Course I guess you wouldn't need a tea if you already have a tea. But if you were thirsty, then you might want a tea so I'll get you a tea. Or did I get you a tea..........), the person behind the merchandise counter is a "Mr. Hainey" (I can sell you this lovely, antique Flooded Mine coffee mug for just a mere fifty-five dollars......plus tax!) and you get to pet a pig named Arnold while waiting to be seated.

 

[History Buff]

So many emoticons!  Oh, the humanity!