Actual lines said to guests in the late '70's and early '80's in response to standard guest questions...
GUEST: How do I get to the cave from here?
CITIZEN: It's a good thing you asked, because they've moved it.
GUEST: How do I get to Fire in the Hole?
CITIZEN: Don't worry about that. It burned down.
Crazy thing is, people believed what was said to them! (Until we gave 'em a straight answer.) Any current or past citizens have any other examples?
When I'm asked for directions, I like saying "Oh...sorry...you can't get there from here!" Then after watching the confusion ripple across their faces I say "Tell you what...come with me and maybe I can help you." Then I take them down the street 15 or 20 feet and say "OK...I can tell you how to get there from here."
Sometimes I'll say "Do you want to take the scenic route, or the shortest route?" If they say "The shortest way," I'll say "There is no short way." Which, as you well know, is true at SDC in most cases.